It was still raining. I still can see the water dripping at the corner of the porch. The sky was grey. I finally went in to my room, sat at my desk. I thought of what I should do. I was alone. I was trying so hard to remember what did my parent have taught me about life.
Me: I can pretend that I am not lonely, but I will be constantly fooling myself. I can pretend that I don’t matter, but I will be sitting here lie to myself.
Winter: What are you talking about? Why would you pretend to be someone you are not? Stop thinking about what people think of you. Do whatever you feel good to do. It is okay to be cold sometimes.
Me: I want someone there to hold. I just want somebody. All I want to be is warm when it is cold. I don’t want to be left scared and lonely.
Autumn: What did your parent say to you about this?
Spring: Everybody wants something. They probably want the same things. It is normal to feel that way. Everybody feels the same. They are also afraid to be left scared and lonely. It’s okay.
Autumn: What is it? What do they need?
Summer: Yup. You have got it. You have that. People mostly have that. But not many of them share it to other. They naturally keep it for themselves. Some of them do not realize that they have it. They hardly understand it.
Me: I don’t understand what you are saying. Love is relative, we all know that. We probably have different definition about what it is.
Silence. They say nothing. I probably being too complicated to them. The rain stops.